Well, it's the middle of the night and for a change I am the one awake not you. So in the quiet and calm (a rarity since your arrival), I have let my mind wander which is something it is quite good at doing.
It has been such a joy becoming your mama and a whole lot of fun. Sure there have been hard times, but I attribute that more to the fact that we are just getting acquainted with one another. It's odd to love someone so much that you really have just met. All this getting to know each other has let my mind wonder about the future, specifically your future.
Please don't get any ideas that I want you to grow up too quickly because son the opposite of that is true! J.M. Barrie said it best, "Young boys should never be sent to bed. They always wake up a day older." This truth is already hard and you are only 7 weeks old.
So knowing that you will grow older, I have to wonder what your little personality will be like. Will you be impulsive and loud like me? Or quieter and steady like your daddy? Or will you be neither and have your very own speed? Will you like baseball or football or piano or guitar or art or tennis or golf? Will school come easy or will you have to have patience to learn the hard things?
As your mama, these are the easy things to wonder about. I look forward to your first jersey. It's silly, but true. But I want you to know that these easy, fun things to wonder about are also so very not important. As much as I will love to cheer for you, if you never play one down, one inning, one game, one song, one anything I will still love you and be so proud just because you are you.
Do you want to know the most important thing? It's the hard thing for me to wonder. Because it's the big thing that I know the Lord has entrusted your daddy and I with. I wonder if you will grow to walk with God. Not just a Sunday morning every now and then, but a deep relationship with Him. We pray every night that you will grow to know God early and trust Him. We pray you will be a man of courage and conviction. Something that is not always valued in this world, but we are promised and hold tight to the fact that our treasures are not here.
Buddy, this is my prayer for you.
"14 When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father,15 the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth.16 I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit.17 Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. 18 And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. 19 May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
20 Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 21 Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen."
Ephesians 3:14-21
Although you are much too small to understand this now, one day you will. And one day I (and your daddy) will have many conversations about this. But until then, we will love you. Everyday, all day. When it's hard and easy. And hopefully our tiny amount of love, compared to that of your Heavenly Father, will make you see a glimpse of just how long, how high, how deep, and how wide you are loved.
Because you are. Loved here on earth and for eternity. Please don't ever doubt that.
To the moon and back baby boy.
Your Mama.
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